Must I cultivate the approval of others?
Shall I live for their imprimatur on my life?
Or shall I be true to myself?
I used to be desperate for people to like me. I made many sacrifices, neglected my own life to "help" others, totally self-negating.
For years, for decades, I was the one EVERYONE could depend upon for every miniscule or major "emergency."
My Mother let me have it many more times than once for running off to "rescue" a "friend" in "trouble."
As I was extricating myself from a destructive marriage, I went to A LOT of psychotherapy.
I came to realize I WAS NOT A WONDERFUL, SELF-SACRIFICING PERSON. I WAS A PEOPLE-PLEASER WHO "HELPED" IN ORDER TO WIN THE "PEOPLES" LOVE.
I was desperate to be liked. I was desperate to feel important and I needed for my life to be "significant."
When I was slapped in the face with this TRUTH, I began learning to say "NO," eventually without guilt.
And that attitude was not instantaneous. It took practice, practice, and more practice.
Now, when I help, it is from a full heart, not a needy heart. Now if I simply cannot do I it,
I say so and
I DON'T DO IT, WITHOUT GUILT OR SELF-RECRIMINATIONS.
FREEDOM!
UHURU!
UHURU!
